Doutzen Kroes by Josh Olins for Vogue UK

Be Your Own Valentine

Posted on February 3, 2014

With Valentines Day just a hop skip and a fluttering heartbeat away, this last week has had me thinking a lot about that loaded four letter word – love.

Being a single woman rapidly approaching 40, I felt a little uncomfortable with the idea of dishing out dating advice or sharing my somewhat limited ponderings on love, so instead I’ve decided to share with you what I have found to be one of the most fundamental lessons when it comes to love…

In the past when I found myself crying into a cup of organic cocoa over the guy I swore was going to be the one… I would scrutinize at which exact point I lost myself in the relationship. Generally, the answer would be “in the first 0.3256 seconds”… and in that moment I would remind myself the next relationship I was to embark on, would be one with self.

For too many years I imagined a loving relationship being the centre of my universe, the be all and end all, the thing that turned my earth on its axis and pumped blood through my veins. Yes, I cringe as I write this as it’s glaringly obvious what an unhealthy view of life and love this was.

To use the ole sponge-cake metaphor, I dangerously viewed relationships as ‘the cake’ and the rest of my life as the icing on that cake. This was a fundamentally flawed recipe for love and life. It wasn’t until I switched this thinking around, and created a wonderful life for myself, by myself was I able to thoroughly enjoy every single crumb my sponge cake had to offer.   My life became deliciously wonderful with or without icing… and should one day Mr. Icing its all his sweet metallic shining armoured glory come knocking on my door, then that would be a serious bonus to an already well grounded and fabulous existence.

It’s true that each and every one of us has our own unique experience of love based on an abundance of variable factors; past and present relationships, upbringing, parental role models, our fears and of course our dreams.  But if we can remain steadfastly true to ourselves when embarking on the journey of love, we will not only be capable of weathering any storm love may bring to the table, but we will also learn to grow as individuals and become better, more loving people to ourselves and others because of it.

Should you wish to gift someone you love, or more importantly decided to be your own valentine this coming February 14, we have put together a small collection of gorgeous love inspired products for you available on via our online shop.
x Republic of You

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